Musings.

"Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? 2 Samuel 7:18

Feeling so underserving of all the blessings in my life over the past while. Continue to be blessed by others around me and I don't get it, why me? Why? Don't I know God is good? I really like to believe I have control of my life and I can figure out how do everything by myself without help. But looking back, none of the blessings in my life have come from anything I've done, and sometimes my pride has a hard time swallowing that pill.  Just read this on my morning devotion calendar and it is so so true.

"In an endless cycle of grace, He gives us gifts to serve in the world. This is how to make life great and eucharisteo (I know what that means thanks to Beth Moore:)) embarks us on the path. 'Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave'. Matthew 20:27'".

I want to wake up everyday with the attitude of "Lord whose slave am I going to be today?" Yeah right..If only I was that selfless, yet I know there is such reward in that service. Maybe not short term gain today or tomorrow or even in this life, I have had small tastes of being used as an instrument for God and it is amazing. But I still chase the selfless things of this world to provide that short term false sense of happiness and then lets me down in the long term. (stuff, respect, looks, even family, etc). In Joshua is says "choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve". CHOOSE! Nothing can satisfy us except to be used by God and serve Him. We battle many things in life but it's the ones that seem most innocent that Satan tries to win us over with. It's not the obvious things sometimes that are our greatest downfall. To not be obsessed with self, to not serve the one and only me, that is my ultimate battle. Am I going to serve God or man? What an awesome God I have that I am able to serve Him, now to use the ability!