Yes till I fly into Regina with the boys and get to hopefully proudly watch D graduate. The boys are more excited about the TV's on the airplane and the waterslide at the hotel than the grad. Can you blame them? Sitting here with a glass of red, from a dear friend who brought a gift basket full of yummy treats, basking in the last leg of the journey. I have never had a year with so many question marks, and so much emotions, I feel like the calm is coming....well, at least for a little while. I know there will always be a new storm around the corner, but God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow and will be there always, so wonderful to know. I had a wonderful 5 days enjoying every moment that I could with d and the kids, and what a wonderful time for him to be here to celebrate the birth of Jesus. This time with him was special, and I have never learned so much about our relationship as I have over these last months, and it has been a really good time of reflection for me. I would like to share all those little moments we had together, watching the boys, or seeing certain reactions of others, but I am going o keep these 5 days to myself and treasure it. God is good, more than good, HE is Awesome, and we both really feel cloaked in Blessings by his hand. So, cheers to the next 4 weeks....this is what I learned in 2010, how about you!
*It's not always good to be so 'open' about your feelings, most people really don't want to know, unless it's going well
*In tough times, you find out who your friends really are
*All the crap on earth that we call 'stuff' isn't really ours at all
*God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and thank goodness for that
*God is teaching me a lot about what kind of wife and other I am, and what kind I want to be.
*Trust Trust Trust Trust Trust....need I say more
*It's only to your own detriment to judge others and not show LOVE ALL the time.
*If in doubt, show love
*Murrayville really is the promised land....kidding!
*We really don't have ANY control of anything
*The power of prayer is bigger than anything we know
*Beth Moore bible studies are amazing..the Bible even more so.
*32 is the age that D-day comes for previous absence of sunscreen before the age of 20.
*Being positive in Darryl's anti depressant.
*Deal with it NOW, or it will keep coming back to haunt you!
*If you try to do things on your own, God will hand you the remote.
*If you give away your paint, make you sure you keep some for touch ups.
*Just because it is expensive, doesn't mean it is good quality.
*Your parents will always love you, even when you feel like no one does
*What doesn't kill you...well you know!
*God really does send emails...through scripture.
*Ok, I'd like to have one of those devotion rooms, like Julie.
*The more you judge others, the more you feel judged.
* Jumping a vehicle is a lot easier than it looks
*Rev. Visshcer was right, the amount of grace we recieve everyday could never be measured.
*Just because I'm over 30, doesn't mean I can't dance everyday
*If someone is in your front yard at 3 in the morning, don't open the window and yell at them...especially when you live across from subsidized housing, and your husband isn't home
*God only want to know your motives
*Their is no ultimate happiness in this life, except in serving and loving God and others.THE END!
For 2011:
Judge less, love more, serve more, spend less, eat less, exercise more, talk less and pray more.
!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
So it's Surrey then.
"Behold I have plans for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" - Jeremiah 29-11
God is great. We found out on Monday that D was posted to Surrey, number 2 on our list, but number 1 on God's list. I wasn't in total shock I must say, as it was 'sounding' like it was a good possibility he was going to be in the Lower Mainland, but I never counted on it. I am happy, Darryl is happy, and my family is happy. I did not expect him to know already, but Monday I had called him around 4:30 and his phone rang but he did not answer. then he phoned me about 1 hour later and I let Jude answer and blab on speaker phone for a while. Then I was telling Jude to show Dad all the new words he knew, like Cheese...and I was saying "Jude say cheese". This went on for a while, until D pipes up, Jude can you say this? Then I knew what he was going to tell me the answer right there. He says "Jude, can you say Surrey?". Well I grabbed the phone so fast, Jude barely knew what happened. Anyways, it couldn't really have been better news, I wasn't really looking to quit my job, uproot my family, and sell my house in a matter of weeks, right after Christmas. I knew that either way, moving or not, God would be with us, and His plan was best, this outcome was just a lot easier to accept. We are hopefully planning on moving sometime in the next year, closer to the school, more into Langley. I am getting tired of the daily (and sometimes twice) commute to Langley (although it isn't THAT far) and having grown up being close to the school, I feel a pull back home. Plus the house is starting to get too small at just over 1300 square feet and 1 bathroom, it would be nice to have a bit more space and a quiet room for D to sleep after night shifts. We had only planned to stay in this house 5-6 years but have managed to stretch it out to 8, which hasn't been too bad because we really have loved this house and living here. It was exactly what we needed, close to Abbotsford for D's work at the time, big yard, and who knew that living so close to the Aldergrove Kinsmen Hall would be a big payoff becoming a Fitness instructor. I can see how God's had His plans for us to move here and why, before we even knew what they were, and it is so reassuring. We will see if and when we move, all in God's time and again much praying for answers about this will come.
D is doing well, the last 5 weeks he has been working very hard and been excelling. Today he told me 2 members of his troop got sent home, and I had met and talked a bit with one of them when I was there, so I was shocked. I can't imagine putting in 18 weeks of hard work, and then not to be able to graduate. But there are reasons for these things and the decisions that were made don't come easy. It was a good reminder for me to continue praying for Darryl as well as he has been doing, it has all been a blessing from God. Only 7 more sleeps till he comes home, and I cannot wait. I can't wait to see the look on the boys faces, on D's face, and enjoy each other like we never have. These opportunities rarely come in life, to be so appreciative of what we have, to miss each other this much, and to realize how dependent we are on God, and this to is a blessing.
Well I have 2 weeks off from teaching as well, and as much as I cherish it, I look forward to the no schedule of life. The longer I teach, the more connected I am with the students and the more I like being a part of something. Today we were playing a basketball game with the grade 7's, and I was 'reffing' the game. They were asking me some questions about what the signs were for things like travelling, subs, and fouls..so I was showing them. Then they asked me how I knew, (because I have told them I wasn't exactly an 'athlete' in school) and I told them I used to scorekeep and ref games in highschool a lot. I even told them I got the 'scorekeeper of the year' award (first time I ever admitted that publicly) and still have my medal, and we all kind of giggled about it together. But then I realized had I not done all that reffing and scorekeeping, I would not have known most of the signs and rules for the different sports we play. I again had to stop for a minute and marvel at God's grace and how he uses things from our past, that we think may have been useless, to better serve others. Thank you Lord.
So, other than that, everything else is great. The boys are still doing pretty good, but I think we are all ready for a nice break. I don't think we have ever looked this forward to Christmas and the boys are counting down the sleeps everyday. Jude is blabbering more than ever, calling Cody "Cogy" and it sounds really cute. He has really bonded with Cody since D left, and I love watching them hug in the mornings and after school when Cody gets home. If he has been crying in the night, he asks for "cogy" and when I lay him beside Cody, they snuggle up together and Jude settles right away. Maybe Cody is the man of the house for Jude..I dunno, but I am glad. Jesse is missing his Dad and has been coping better than I expected. Unlike Cody, he does not like change in his routine too much and isn't fond of any 'pressure' which I blame entirely on D's genes, but has been a good learning experience for me to try and keep the weekly 'routine' going. He will fair much better in school than his older brother I am guessing, because he really loves a structured environment and feels more in control then. I love his quirky little personality and the fact that he knows what he wants in life, and what he doesn't. Better that then me, where I can't sometimes make a decision if my life depended on it. I think Jude will be the clown of the family, always being goofy, putting anything on his head and pretending it's a hat. Cody is a showman and looking to have the most fun possible, with the least amount of work possible. He likes to push the boundaries as far as he can, but loves music, singing, dancing and anything to do with computer. Hmm, I have NOOO idea where he gets it from, but it has it's good and bad sides. I lived it...so I am ready for the battle.
I have so much to be thankful for, and have been very blessed by so many. Yesterday and the day before my dad came here after work (he starts at like 5 a.m. or something crazy like that) and raked all my front and back leaves and sprayed my driveway. We had some good laughs when we were picking up the leaves about our acreage back in the day and how many piles of leaves Nellie and I had to rake and pick up, and how long it aways took. My Dad would come out and do this little demonstration and be raking like a madman showing us how it was done. Then 1 of us would pick up the rake after he left and pretend to go all crazy with the rake and giggle our heads off together. Then I began telling him about how we felt like it was pure torture on a cold fall day after school to do all that hard work and ho we would bike home from school and try to hideout n our rooms after snack time so he'd forget. Thanks Dad, for giving us some work ethic, and for coming over and helping me out this week. I really like being independent but there is something about getting some help from your dad that warms my heart. He always liked doing outside work and to this day he really enjoys it. And there are not too many 60 year old guys out there going to work at 5 am and doing the physical job of a 25 year old and keeping up quite well. I love my Dad!
Well we are down to the wire being 3/4 of the way done 'this' journey and then onto the next one, I cannot wait to see what the New Year is going to bring. Praise the Lord!
God is great. We found out on Monday that D was posted to Surrey, number 2 on our list, but number 1 on God's list. I wasn't in total shock I must say, as it was 'sounding' like it was a good possibility he was going to be in the Lower Mainland, but I never counted on it. I am happy, Darryl is happy, and my family is happy. I did not expect him to know already, but Monday I had called him around 4:30 and his phone rang but he did not answer. then he phoned me about 1 hour later and I let Jude answer and blab on speaker phone for a while. Then I was telling Jude to show Dad all the new words he knew, like Cheese...and I was saying "Jude say cheese". This went on for a while, until D pipes up, Jude can you say this? Then I knew what he was going to tell me the answer right there. He says "Jude, can you say Surrey?". Well I grabbed the phone so fast, Jude barely knew what happened. Anyways, it couldn't really have been better news, I wasn't really looking to quit my job, uproot my family, and sell my house in a matter of weeks, right after Christmas. I knew that either way, moving or not, God would be with us, and His plan was best, this outcome was just a lot easier to accept. We are hopefully planning on moving sometime in the next year, closer to the school, more into Langley. I am getting tired of the daily (and sometimes twice) commute to Langley (although it isn't THAT far) and having grown up being close to the school, I feel a pull back home. Plus the house is starting to get too small at just over 1300 square feet and 1 bathroom, it would be nice to have a bit more space and a quiet room for D to sleep after night shifts. We had only planned to stay in this house 5-6 years but have managed to stretch it out to 8, which hasn't been too bad because we really have loved this house and living here. It was exactly what we needed, close to Abbotsford for D's work at the time, big yard, and who knew that living so close to the Aldergrove Kinsmen Hall would be a big payoff becoming a Fitness instructor. I can see how God's had His plans for us to move here and why, before we even knew what they were, and it is so reassuring. We will see if and when we move, all in God's time and again much praying for answers about this will come.
D is doing well, the last 5 weeks he has been working very hard and been excelling. Today he told me 2 members of his troop got sent home, and I had met and talked a bit with one of them when I was there, so I was shocked. I can't imagine putting in 18 weeks of hard work, and then not to be able to graduate. But there are reasons for these things and the decisions that were made don't come easy. It was a good reminder for me to continue praying for Darryl as well as he has been doing, it has all been a blessing from God. Only 7 more sleeps till he comes home, and I cannot wait. I can't wait to see the look on the boys faces, on D's face, and enjoy each other like we never have. These opportunities rarely come in life, to be so appreciative of what we have, to miss each other this much, and to realize how dependent we are on God, and this to is a blessing.
Well I have 2 weeks off from teaching as well, and as much as I cherish it, I look forward to the no schedule of life. The longer I teach, the more connected I am with the students and the more I like being a part of something. Today we were playing a basketball game with the grade 7's, and I was 'reffing' the game. They were asking me some questions about what the signs were for things like travelling, subs, and fouls..so I was showing them. Then they asked me how I knew, (because I have told them I wasn't exactly an 'athlete' in school) and I told them I used to scorekeep and ref games in highschool a lot. I even told them I got the 'scorekeeper of the year' award (first time I ever admitted that publicly) and still have my medal, and we all kind of giggled about it together. But then I realized had I not done all that reffing and scorekeeping, I would not have known most of the signs and rules for the different sports we play. I again had to stop for a minute and marvel at God's grace and how he uses things from our past, that we think may have been useless, to better serve others. Thank you Lord.
So, other than that, everything else is great. The boys are still doing pretty good, but I think we are all ready for a nice break. I don't think we have ever looked this forward to Christmas and the boys are counting down the sleeps everyday. Jude is blabbering more than ever, calling Cody "Cogy" and it sounds really cute. He has really bonded with Cody since D left, and I love watching them hug in the mornings and after school when Cody gets home. If he has been crying in the night, he asks for "cogy" and when I lay him beside Cody, they snuggle up together and Jude settles right away. Maybe Cody is the man of the house for Jude..I dunno, but I am glad. Jesse is missing his Dad and has been coping better than I expected. Unlike Cody, he does not like change in his routine too much and isn't fond of any 'pressure' which I blame entirely on D's genes, but has been a good learning experience for me to try and keep the weekly 'routine' going. He will fair much better in school than his older brother I am guessing, because he really loves a structured environment and feels more in control then. I love his quirky little personality and the fact that he knows what he wants in life, and what he doesn't. Better that then me, where I can't sometimes make a decision if my life depended on it. I think Jude will be the clown of the family, always being goofy, putting anything on his head and pretending it's a hat. Cody is a showman and looking to have the most fun possible, with the least amount of work possible. He likes to push the boundaries as far as he can, but loves music, singing, dancing and anything to do with computer. Hmm, I have NOOO idea where he gets it from, but it has it's good and bad sides. I lived it...so I am ready for the battle.
I have so much to be thankful for, and have been very blessed by so many. Yesterday and the day before my dad came here after work (he starts at like 5 a.m. or something crazy like that) and raked all my front and back leaves and sprayed my driveway. We had some good laughs when we were picking up the leaves about our acreage back in the day and how many piles of leaves Nellie and I had to rake and pick up, and how long it aways took. My Dad would come out and do this little demonstration and be raking like a madman showing us how it was done. Then 1 of us would pick up the rake after he left and pretend to go all crazy with the rake and giggle our heads off together. Then I began telling him about how we felt like it was pure torture on a cold fall day after school to do all that hard work and ho we would bike home from school and try to hideout n our rooms after snack time so he'd forget. Thanks Dad, for giving us some work ethic, and for coming over and helping me out this week. I really like being independent but there is something about getting some help from your dad that warms my heart. He always liked doing outside work and to this day he really enjoys it. And there are not too many 60 year old guys out there going to work at 5 am and doing the physical job of a 25 year old and keeping up quite well. I love my Dad!
Well we are down to the wire being 3/4 of the way done 'this' journey and then onto the next one, I cannot wait to see what the New Year is going to bring. Praise the Lord!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Praising God
God is teaching me patience, something that does not come easy for me, and I am thankful for this gift. He is also teaching me to trust in HIM alone and to give all control over...which is even harder. But it is very freeing and also a wonderful blessing. I am eagerly waiting what HIS plans are and I am so blessed to be on this journey, God has taken me so far. There is no one like Him, he is Sovereign and I am humbled by all the wonderful things He has done and is doing for me. The weekend was beautiful and I am overwhelmed by his grace and love over and over. Praise the LORD!
"Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?" 2 Samuel 7:18
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q
"Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?" 2 Samuel 7:18
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q
Sunday, December 5, 2010
BC it is...
I will make this post short as it is late and I need to attend to my messy kitchen, (ok house) if I do not, then in the a.m. it will take twice as long, and the week looks pretty packed already. So many of you know from the very scrutinized but still popular facebook (I think it's pretty funny how many lurkers there are on FB that don't admit it) that my hubby received the news Friday we were posted to BC which we are of course happy about. I wasn't totally surprised as I knew there were 9 postings in BC for Darryl's troop and 8 people from BC so the odds were good. That being said, there was 1 cadet who had picked BC and lives on the island who got AB but he and his wife were open to some adventures, so it was good.
Well what is it like having your life on paper in the palm of someone's hand somewhere in a RCMP staffing office in BC, who has never met you, and will be deciding your future? Well, I say to people, it is like the end of a pregnancy. Your a little tired of people asking, (but your happy they care)though you hope it's soon, you know your life is going to change dramatically either way, but you still want the outcome. The beginning seems so fast, and now the end is really dragging out, and you just want it out. But I like to see it as being in the palm of Gods hand, and it feels much more reassuring then. I have been bemoaning a little bit to Darryl about possibly moving, but he keeps reminding me of what we signed up for in the beginning and we knew this time would come. That being said, when your husband hands in an application to the RCMP and you agree, it seems like a long shot. Then suddenly here we are 2 years later, and what we had agreed upon is now becoming a reality. So last night, after some enlightenment and prayer, I decided to be happy either way. This whole experience has been and is a huge gift from God, and the sooner I accept it, the easier it will become, despite the outcome. I told D last night, I said for better or for worse, and I meant it. That being said, God always seemingly has a way of making a not so great situation, a great one. So it is actually quite exciting, to think we could have a whole new different life waiting for us in some un-named city or town, or rabbit hole for that matter. It is time to be tough and tough times never last, but tough people do. I also like that saying "fake it, till you make it" I used that a lot when I was starting out as a Fitness Instructor and it is really true. You can change your thoughts, then your thoughts start to become your actions and your actions become who you are.
I also think if I accept that we will be moving and decide to be happy about it before we actually find out, then either way, it won't be so hard. Another wife from depot said "I am hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst". So 2-3 weeks is how long we have left with this whole ordeal...for the most part, and I am excited and also trying to someone enjoy the unknown. There is a cadet in Darryl's troop who knows he is going to one of those postings waaay up north in MB, and he also had 3 boys and a wife. His posting however, doesn't even require a squad car, it requires a quad and atv vehicles. His kids will not be able to attend school as there is no school that is even remotely close, and his wife has to face the fact that she is now a full fledge homeschooling mother. Along with the fact, this man's future job here will include scaring off Polar Bears from locals and having a detachment that is a mobile. And they are from Toronto...Yeesh. So I am not complaining, instead I am trusting that whatever the outcome, God has great plans for us, and we are just here patiently waiting to find out what the beginning of this whole adventure entails. For the record, I am glad I don't have to make the BIG decision.
Albert Einstein
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Happy 35th Babe!
My eyes are open, yes, and my huge mug of coffee and prayer are what is going to get me through this day. today is a blog vent. so I am warning you, I am using this blog today as a crutch, since my hubby is not here. I know there are Mom's out there who are going to know exactly what it's like, cause having kids, is like kissing solid sleep good-bye...forever.
I got home last night after a crazy evening of dead batteries, aerobic class (first one since September) an intense Bible Study discussion about church matters close to my heart, and picking out paint colours online with my dear youngest sister for her new future home. Bedtime did not end up coming till 1 a.m. which was a huge mistake. On the plus side, all the boys were in their own bed so I was hoping for a sweet sleep, alone. Boy, was I wrong. By 2 a.m. I was still mumbling prayers, dozing in and out, thinking about the impending province pick this Friday amongst other things. I ordered a cake for Darryl's birthday which is today, and I am hoping it gets there and all works out. I am thinking about the class I taught, the discussion that evening over 2 cups of coffee and a bit of a racing pulse. I am hypocrite? I love most things about our church, but the worship style is hard to take, and I am studying about David dancing naked before God. Seems more my style, ok maybe not the naked part, or the dancing in a huge group part, but something. Time + conflict= change. That is what we learned about David's life and God's plan. What if there is no conflict? Then there will be no change? Can I live with that? So I am torn about what I even want. One thing is for sure, I want him back, whether it's here or somewhere else. I can see it on my kids that they are lacking in the parental attention and positive reinforcement. More guilt. 2:00 a.m., I hear a thonk, on the front porch and look out the blinds. Right, that globe and mail I got talked into taking for free, gets delivered at 2 a.m.. Thanks for that. then I hear more noises, yes, my oldest is up, going to the bathroom, then stumbles in my room to climb in. I am too tired at this point to resist and really don't mind the company.
Starting to fall asleep by 2:30...at 2:45 I hear more noises, Jude is awake. He starts to cry, I leave him for about 5 minutes, get up, get him, snuggle him on the rocking chair for a while, put him back. Cries again. Forget it, pick him up, bring him to my bed. We settle. It's 3 a.m., I have to get at least 4 hours to function. 3:15 a.m., more noises. Not the kind from the bedroom. Great, are the racoons back in the attic? Maybe it's my imagination. I look outside my blinds and see two teenagers standing in front of my house on the road...maybe that's the globe and mail people, I dunno. Lay back down. Hear a really loud crash against my house, okay something or someone just banged the front of my house. I look outside and see a girl teenager come from beside my house walking on my front lawn. Are they breaking in my van? What is going on? Ugh...I need to move. She joins the other teenagers on the road. I lay back down. It's 3:30..I try to go back to sleep. I am worried about tomorrow because I have killed my battery twice and what if it won't start when i try to jump it in the morning, I won't be able to go to work. Ok, I will go to Canadian Tire and get it replaced if it does start before school, with the boys. It's 3:45..more noises. This time, it's Jesse. Fine, come on in. No one is settled. This is my fault. If I were a better mother, i would make them all go back to bed, crying aside and have 1 bad night of everyone crying and be done with it. So I have myself to blame, it's my doing. I am not the good kind of mother...more praying about that.4:15 and Cody's getting annoyed with Jesse's feet. So I move Cody to the end of the bed...a few minutes later he says he is cold. i get up to put my housecoat on him. 4;30... Cody complains Jesse is kicking him. I am done with this whole thing. I get up, leave and go to Jesse's bed..Indeed at least 2 hours. 5:00 a.m., Jude is crying from my room, waking up the other 2. I quickly get him and bring him into Jesse's bed with me...we fall asleep around 5:15 but at 5:30 hear my phone going off that someone is messaging me. Right, it must be Darryl's troop mate that I texted last night about the cake surprise, ok I will check it later. Finally, fall asleep...I wake up at 7:30 in a panic and realize I only have 20 minutes to get Cody dressed, breakfast, make his lunch, pray and make it to the bus. Okay he makes it. My eyes are puffy...kids are wanting breakfast..I put the pot of coffee on, given them some breakfast..and outside to the van to try and jump it. NOTE TO SELF GO TO BED BEFORE 10 p.m.! Today I feel like I need to go back to school..Mom school. How to be a better mother. The kind that is making muffins at 6:45 a.m. with a smile, fully dressed, and ready to give it my all. I will work on that.
Okay that is my vent, my day goes on, hopefully I make it to Canadian tire...or my Mom will have to come here after her Bible Study to rescue me (she is the bomb!) and I will make it to work this afternoon. I do love my job..I love being a Mom more, but it is a nice break, it pays the tuition and it's fun. For now.....I am loving you Julie for my Starbucks mug, with my Komodo Dragon Blend...and for health, grace and God's greatest gift. His Son jesus Christ. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".
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